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It’s the strangest thing, I’ve always grappled with the idea of forever. Whether it be in this life or after, I’ve always wrestled with the concept. Except when it came to us. When I started thinking about forever for us, even in the early days, it wasn’t a big or scary concept and it still isn’t. To me forever, for us, just meant a continuation of everything I cherished about you that day, just in a linear projection forward. In other words, I didn’t grapple with how our fut

I keep thinking back to the last normal day I could remember. The last memory that I have before that Easter Sunday when I had my accident and life changed forever. Here it is. There was nothing unusual about it. We had spent the day lounging on the sectional sofa, watching our favorite shows and talking throughout the day. The dogs were up and down, snuggling us and going outside every 10 minutes. I decided to go get us Dairy Queen in mid afternoon and came home and continue

The one thing loving you allowed me to become back in our early days (and true to this day) was simply a better man that made the best choices. Before you, I made selfish choices. Quick choices. Easy choices. But when I met you, I found myself trying to make the best choices I could make, for myself, for us and our future. It took a little bit of effort at first, but after a while, it just became second nature and suddenly, I had become a better version of myself than I thoug

When we first fell in love, one thing I noticed was that I learned to take things more seriously as it related to the future and I wanted to support your dreams. I started to look at myself so that I could be healthier and better for you each day. I wanted to give you the best parts of me that day and in the future so that what we built could have a good foundation. I had never thought that way prior to us. A big part of that was being a strong supporter of your dreams and am

As our life together started to take shape, especially after we moved in together for the first time, the one thing that surprised me about what love required was that it required very little. I didn’t have to try to be happy or sad or anything really. I could just be myself with you and let you be yourself and that was really all it took. Love seemed to be the guiding factor not something that had a bunch of criteria to it, and that was an absolute first for me. It was and i

Today, I’ve been thinking about the first tough moment of our early relationship. Maybe tough isn’t the right word, perhaps real is the right word. Somewhere in between those two. It was a cold winter day with a huge winter storm coming on and you were sick. I had two choices: I could be without you and know that you had to take care of yourself or I could drive the 2+ hours it would take me to get to you in a winter storm and kidnap you for the next several days. There wasn’

On our first date at Starbucks, there was a moment where I realized that your heart just wanted to love and be loved. It was that simple and that pure. This revelation is what made me go all in right away. It’s what made me fall for you. It has kept me falling for you every day since then. Time moved funny back then. That evening and many, many, many days after, time just moved too fast when I was with you and too slow when we were apart. I remember picking the longest movies

It was a specific point in our early relationship where it stopped feeling like our bond was something that was happening and instead, it was something I was choosing. I was living at Ron’s and we we’re getting ready to go out on a date and you were sitting on my bed. As I walked past the foot of the bed, I pulled you up and started to walk out of the door, but you grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me back for our first “tall hug.” I can remember every sound, every smell, ev

So I went and downloaded all of my data from Facebook including Facebook messages. I’ve been reading back over some of our earlier messages and it’s amazing to me how willing I was to share with you because of how you made me feel. Almost right away I felt comfortable enough to talk about some of the darkness I had just come out of. That you were lifting me out of. I was able to talk about some family issues, basic philosophies of life, and the bad relationship I just broke o

When we first started talking over 11 years ago, a few things stuck out to me right away. First, you were and still are the easiest person to talk to. I could talk to you about anything and I didn’t have to sit and think out my answers. I just said whatever came out and it felt natural and like it landed. I think it goes back to it feeling like being at home when I’m with you But even before we met that feeling was there. It was like a speaking with somebody with whom I had