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Speaking of better days on the previous post, there’s one day this coming spring that I’m looking forward to. I want to take a day just for us to get out of the house and go do some things that we used to do. I want to go to a nice lunch, maybe see a movie, grab coffee from somewhere and go to Cox Hall Gardens. Obviously, I won’t be able to go into the grass that much, but we can still walk along the sidewalk from one end to the other. We’ve been there a few times and of cour

Sort of continuing on with the topic of choices, there are a few things that I really hope you understand on the days where I feel like it must not be too easy to choose me. On those days, it’s important that you understand that there are better days ahead. That you won’t always have to take care of every single thing in the household. That there will be days to go on dates and to travel out of town again. It’s important to me on those days where I feel like it’s hard for you

Today I’ve been thinking about our vows quite a bit. The one common thread that I keep coming back to is the fact that we chose each other. We chose each other before we even met, and then did so each day right up to our vows. We continue to choose each other every day after that. I could only speak for myself, but there hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t found it easy to choose you. I have a feeling that you may have had some difficult days in that arena, but you’ve ne

Continuing on from where I left off on the last topic, There was one thing that you did and still due to this day that reassures me that you see me as your husband. It’s something that we’ve done every single night that we’ve been together and that is our three kisses. Those three kisses at the end of the day before we go to sleep... They may not seem like much but there’s a strong connection there. It’s a love language being spoken and reaffirming who we are to each other.

I remember being in the rehab facility after the accident and I finally had some time to myself to think. I kept trying to look ahead to figure out what the picture looked like in the future. I couldn’t picture much which was pretty frightening, but there was one concern I had that stood above the rest and that was how you would end up seeing me. I had this gigantic fear that you would stop seeing me as your husband and begin to see me as a patient. That your nursing skills w

So for the past three weeks or so, I’ve been doing two things before I go to sleep that are new. First, I’ve been praying again. Pretty standard fare, just typical catholic prayers, and a conversation with whatever or whoever is holding this crazy universe together. I pray for us, that we make it through this dry time financially. I pray for your health and strength like I do for my own. I pray for the grace to forgive my mom. I pray for our whole family that they all flouris

You started your classes back up today which means that your time is going to be all that more precious. You’re going to have to balance school, your picky pad business, and taking care of me all at once. I’m going to miss the extra time that we had together over the last few weeks, but I know that you’re doing this for us long-term. As I lay here, hopefully on the last few days or weeks of my bed rest and watch you handle all of the responsibilities, there’s a few things I n

The accident, like any big Life change, altered the dynamics of our love. It did this in a myriad of ways, but as I think back to the time I was in the hospital and rehab, the most striking change was the shift in who handled logistics. For most of our relationship I was the planner. In times of crisis, I could stay calm and navigate the waters fairly easy and facilitate our next steps to keep us moving forward. I took pride in doing so. But as I tried to heal and figure out

Continuing on from yesterday, I’ve been thinking about my accident quite a bit. Specifically, I’ve been trying to remember what was going on after I got into the EMS, the whole journey through the medical system, and then when I finally landed in the ICU room at Methodist. I’ve been thinking a lot about my time in that room when I first had to come to and grapple with the reality of my condition. I didn’t have the gift of foresight like I do now. I had no idea what the future

It’s the strangest thing, I’ve always grappled with the idea of forever. Whether it be in this life or after, I’ve always wrestled with the concept. Except when it came to us. When I started thinking about forever for us, even in the early days, it wasn’t a big or scary concept and it still isn’t. To me forever, for us, just meant a continuation of everything I cherished about you that day, just in a linear projection forward. In other words, I didn’t grapple with how our fut